he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
