dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
