i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
