don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
