Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
