I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
