The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
