I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
