Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize