Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
