Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
