Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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