He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
