You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Randomize
