Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
