Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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