True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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