Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
