using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize