The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
