Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
