How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
