Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
