The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
