There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
