I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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