So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
