he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My Higher Power is John Stamos
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
