Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
