why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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