I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
