I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
