I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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