Taylor Swift is so right about you.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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