The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
