btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
