you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
