So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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