I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
