I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
