Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
