Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
