I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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