I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
