your thong is hanging out like whoa
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
