I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm like, not good at living.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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