The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
