My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
