Already got asked if we're dating
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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