I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I licked your asshole in confidence.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
