When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
