i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
