My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
