Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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