I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
