I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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