Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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