Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
