I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize