you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
