I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
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