I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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