If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
