I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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