we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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