When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
This is classic penis vs brain.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
