The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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