I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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