i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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