hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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